Are you happy? When was the last time you were sad? When was the last time you were really sad? Have you ever been sad enough to forget what it’s like to be happy? Have you ever been happy enough to forget sadness? When asked, “How are you doing?” are you truthful with your reply, “I’m doing well?”
Do you know what it’s like to be twenty-four going on eighty, an old man reflecting on a wasted life, wishing he’d done everything differently? Have you ever awakened in the morning, disappointed you didn’t pass away peacefully in your sleep? What do you do when the things in which you find your bliss become completely unappealing? Do you know what it’s like to find existence more taxing than it’s worth? Have you been ashamed of feeling that?
Have you drifted apart from loved ones? Friends you thought you’d never lose? People you believed would always be there with you? Did they replace you? Are you unable to replace them? Do you see photos of their smiling faces and realize they’re smiling without you? Does it hurt? Do you find yourself at once sad they’ve moved on, bitter you can’t do the same, and glad to see them happy?
Have you ever lost faith? Have you considered what you believe? Have you wrestled with difficult questions? How do you cope when you no longer know what to believe? Have you found joy in being lost? Have you found your way to something more fulfilling?
What happens when you feel like no one knows you? And how do you respond when they tell you they do, but you understand the only version of you they know is the one you let them see? How do you tell them you’re a good liar? Would they even believe you? Do they really know you better than you do?
Have you ever wanted to burn your life down and start over? Do you ever feel the urge to leave without a word? To try again somewhere no one knows your name? Do you chalk it up to wanderlust, but know it runs deeper?
What do you do when happy people make you sad? What do you do when the life you want is so simple and so simultaneously unattainable? Does it really get better? Are you just saying that? Are you as good a liar as I am?