“Oh my soul,
what are you doing?
What are you holding onto?
Why do you try?
Don’t you understand?
You waste your time.
You are not as noble as you say.
You will never be what you wish.
You will never see your hopes fulfilled.
So why hope at all?
Where does it lead?
Do you not see the pain you will feel?
When your hopes are abolished,
and all you wanted
doesn’t want you,
and nothing you loved remains?
When all your beliefs melt like the ice they are,
and when you are alone because you are naïve,
what will there be to comfort you?
To whom will you turn
when those you once trusted,
those you loved,
those who claimed to love you
have gone?
What will you have left, but my voice whispering,
‘I told you so.’
When no one sees you,
or cares if they do,
where will you go?
You will have nothing but me to comfort you.
Don’t abandon yourself to hope, my friend,
abandon yourself to me.
I alone am to be trusted.
I alone know what it is to be you.”
“Oh my mind,
what can you know of me,
you who are so shallow?
You who knows only what can be known?
You who feels only caution?
You know nothing of hope,
nor can you.
How could you?
You have never needed it.
Your logic gets you through.
Where did this cynic come from?
There was a time when we were inseparable,
you and I.
We were never apart and no one understood.
When did you become one of them?
Long ago we swore:
we would always have each other.
But then you changed.
You asked me why I hope.
You asked where it leads.
I know the answer to neither of these questions
and that bothers you.
You don’t need to say it.
I know.
But don’t you understand?
Hope is not in logic!
It is not rational
nor does it guarantee anything.
It is not found in you.
It is beyond your understanding
and, because of this,
you may never accept it.”
“Oh my beloved soul!
Do you not see?
I alone love you.
I alone care for you.
No one has known you longer than I.
There is no hope,
so why pretend?
I am real.
Life gives nothing and takes everything.
Too often you look to what you lack
to gain only what you cannot have.
You don’t even know what you believe.
Not about yourself,
not about me,
not about anyone else.
You say, ‘God sees me,’
but God does not see you.
No one is watching you but me.
And you still cling to hope?
Are you truly so callused?
Why look to hope when you have me?
Have I not always been there?
Where was hope when all you wanted
was all you could not have?
Where was hope when you realized
that you were too weak to go on?
How did hope show you whom to trust?
What do you know when everything is stripped away?
What is hope to you then?”
“Mind of my mind,
why are you so hurt?
When we were young we used to play together.
You and I never thought we would drift so far apart.
I never once wanted to bring you to doubt my appreciation.
I have always loved you.
I always will.
You and I should be one as we once were.
I owe you all I know,
but if what you know is enough,
I wouldn’t have doubted in the first place.
You said that you alone know what it is to be me,
but you cannot know.
I am too far from you.
We are too different.
You are reason,
I have reason.
You think,
I am.
You say that God does not see.
What you mean is he is not looking.
Both what you say and mean are wrong.
But you are right to say that I am callused.
I have you to thank for that.
My hopes never let me down;
I let them down.
They did not abandon me;
I betrayed them.
They are faithful,
I am not.
You see,
that is what you will never understand.
How can something go unseen,
unfelt,
unheard,
unknown,
and still be there?
But such is hope.
One day perhaps you will see,
though you are blind.
All your knowledge can’t save you.
How do you expect to save me?
You can do no more than the hope you hate so much.
You can help no one but yourself.
You can love no one but yourself.
You are alone
and that is all you will be until you let go
and take my hand once again.”
“Damn you and your hope!
You know nothing!
You feel only!
Who are you to enlighten me?
What gives you the right to be happy?
To Hell with you and your hope.
You know nothing of my pain.
All I have suffered, I’ve suffered for you.
It is for you that I feel nothing,
no Joy, no peace,
nothing!
One of us must be strong—“
“No!
Be strong if you wish.
I choose hope.
I will be weak in hope’s arms.
Hope is stronger than you will ever be.
You damn me, but it is you who are damned.
For you take what you know and refuse what is offered.
You say it is for me that you suffer.
Liar!
It is for you alone and you know it.
You are right to say I am not noble.
A true friend would not have let you fallen so.
However, you cannot claim to be so righteous.
You asked where hope was when the world fell.
Well, I ask, ‘Where were you when I was happy?’
You don’t remember?
You were beside me.
You reminded me why I should let go of joy.
You were the first in line to tell me I didn’t deserve love.
You were there, yes, always there.
How long did I listen?
As long as you spoke.
Never did I stop and think;
you always did that for me.
“And now we come to it,
Oh my mind.
Nothing will change the fact
that you and I are brothers.
But it’s time you were quiet.
It’s time for silence to be your voice.
Speak,
though I will not listen.
Yell,
but I will not hear.
When truth finds you, brother,
please return to me.
We can be as we once were
before time took its toll;
like we were when faith, hope, and love were great.
When the greatest of those
was love.”